Meditation is one of those trendy words that seems to be thrown around everywhere and used in almost every conversation involving mental health. I never took it seriously, and honestly, I just thought it was just something people did to feel included. I had my thoughts about it and my conflicted thoughts because I thought, is this a religion? Will it go against my faith and what I believed in? These questions were starting to race through my mind, and it created a barrier for me.
I knew my mental state was in the wrong place due to the many events in my life during the springtime. I tested for COVID and was, fortunately, negative, but had similar symptoms. I was going through a mentally draining and emotionally abusive break-up with a 5-year ex. I felt lost with my career and wondered why I moved to New York. I even found myself crying at 3 am and just not feeling happy at all. Like many of us during the quarantine, I was mentally put through the wringer and did not feel adequate with ourselves. I was pretty much at the end of my rope and masking what was going on with me.
One night, I was doing my sleepless scrolls on Instagram when I saw my friend Elle’s post on her free meditation classes within her private group on Facebook, and I don’t know what pushed me, but I gave in. I contacted her about teaching a course for a health and wellness week for the brand, and after taking that class, something shifted within me. I was not sure if it was the sound bowls or a moment of silence. Still, the tears were flowing. For once, I felt that clarity I had before this chaos; after asking Elle, the instructor, questions about religion and therapy, and how to practice on my own, I began my journey. I practiced meditating along for almost 15-minutes a day, which helped improve my thoughts and negative thinking. It allowed me to release what was creating negative thoughts within my head and find a way to give thanks to everything around me. Health.com states that different forms of meditation can help with your depression and thinking. Mindfulness meditation was one form of meditation that I started implementing into my life. Mindfulness mediation has been linked to helping to fight depression and negative thinking. What surprised me was when I felt my negative moments happening, I took that moment to find a calm moment and remember that my thoughts shouldn’t fester. Now, I am not saying I learned how to fight my depression on meditation alone, but it was a start. It helped me to remember how far I’ve come and how grateful I am to be alive.
It propelled me to find therapy and lunge myself into removing the toxic triggers in my life, such as exes, friends, situations and shed my toxic self. I still have plenty of work to do, but that’s the beauty of growing, and I am happy I leaped finding the woman I am aiming to be.