Are Hook-Ups & Dating Apps Becoming the Definition of Millennial Dating

It’s a Tuesday evening, and you’re watching a romantic comedy and fantasizing about the weekend ahead of you. Thinking about your friend’s birthday and how you can’t wait to get glammed up with your squad. As a hard-working queen in your late 20’s, your weekends feel like gold. That’s when you get a notification from your dating app, and you take a peek. It’s from that guy you kind of found favorable. You open the message, and it’s another, “my favorite color is green, what about you?”

You asked him for a fun fact, and per usual, you get the lackluster answer. This is what my dating experience is beginning to feel like. It feels like a brick wall that no one is ready to conquer. Texting emojis and liking photos is how they show their interest and read receipts are turned off. Now, for most, this may be fine, but what happened to the days of intimacy and courtship.

Has dating apps and hook-up culture canceled all of these hopeless romantic notions? A little dramatic, right? But think about it, stats show that Tinder had over 7.86 million users in 2019. Bumble came in second with 5.03 million users in 2019. But, if you’re anything like me, you may have tried four apps and ended up with the same results. Results such as: 

  1. No one truly caught your interest
  2. The conversation didn’t make it off the app and into a real-life date
  3. You were GHOSTED
  4. You found your friend chatting with the same person (this has happened, more common than you think)
  5. You were bored mid-way with the conversation

So, you’re asking if so many people are on these dating apps looking for their life partner, why aren’t they finding them? Here’s the possible answer, the way we have changed in our social climate, it seems genuinely impossible to drive a single connection with someone. Now, don’t get me wrong; there are some sites/apps where you can find your matched partner. But they don’t come for free. Matchmaking isn’t cheap, and according to these stats, The Match Group ranked in 2.05 billion U.S. dollars. Which makes you think, are we paying to find love? Now, as a firm believer in finding someone at the right time, I can’t help but to notice maybe online dating and apps are helping to alleviate the “Hey ma, what’s your name and your sign” type of conversations we encounter when out in social settings. One can only hope, right? 

Well, you’re still encountering this kind of potentials on the apps too. Currently, I have 41 messages on just one app. 41 messages that all included conversational prompts, but all of the messages start in the same fashion. I only have five messages that I carefully choose to start a conversation based on the approach and mutual interest. You have to weed it out if you want to find the right connection. Now, it’s not complaining, but it makes me wonder, are we here on these apps looking for a good time or the right one? Do we give in to the new societal norm of dating, or can we meet someone the old fashioned way once more? Who knows, but all we know is keep dating and stay safe out there.

1 comment

  1. I used to hate dating apps, too. Dating as a millennial these days is not easy. I learned a lot of lessons along the way and am now happily married. Writing a book about it to share for all my ladies. 🙂


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