There is no such thing as a perfect love, dear. There are only two unique individuals that are perfect for each other. There is no such thing as someone that makes you happy, but there are people who YOU allow to do so.
Relationships are much more than the things that you see in movies. Love doesn’t just happen. But love can be given to a lot of people or things. (I wouldn’t want to exclude your fur-sister Roxy.) You have to work for it if you want the real thing. And honey, me and your dad may have just found the secret recipe on how just to do that.
As I’m laying here in a very full and crowded bed which consists of an 11 month-old and a worn out husband (and super dad). I couldn’t think of a more perfect time to write this to you. I will start off by saying that being in a relationship isn’t the only way you can find love. You can find it in many places and you can give it to many around you.
Love is being kind and genuine to a complete stranger. It can be shown by holding the door for someone who isn’t expecting it. It’s that 3am call to a friend and she answers just as she would if you had called at a normal hour. If you are careful and know in your heart that you and your partner can work just as hard as the other in your relationship, you may just find yourself finding a love like the one I have with your dad. And sweetie please remember, love should always be given to the ones who matter most. You might feel like you’ve wasted it when circumstances change in your life and the people around you do too but real love can’t be wasted.
I want you to know that when it comes to love out of being kind, not everyone will appreciate it. That kind of love may not be reciprocated and that is the beauty in giving that kind of love. It is thoughtful but also easy to give; it is usually shown in simple yet random acts of kindness. If someone doesn’t want to appreciate it don’t let it sour the next opportunity for you to show it.
When it comes to love for a friend, I can tell you that your heart may feel broken a time or two. You might feel like you are inseparable with someone that shares the same interests but just remember that things change and so do people. Your friends may not be the same ones you met in high school, but they can be. Your friends may be the ones that haven’t known you long or can be the ones who have known you your entire life. No two friends are alike but you learn to cherish each other. Learning to be there for each other when it doesn’t matter and when it matters most. That kind of love can happen many times but in different ways. You will have to work at it because friends get busy with their own journeys. As long as you find a way to make those journeys cross from time to time and you nourish that friendship, it is almost guaranteed to last with people who are willing to do the same.
My beautiful girl, the most sought after love will be the love you may find in a partner. The best way I can teach you is to show you and to be honest about the love your dad and I share. It hasn’t always been easy. Especially because your dad and I have loved each other through the hardest and transitional times in our lives. We have loved each other through growing from young individuals to the adults we are now. We’ve experienced loss both together and separately. In those times we struggled a lot but we were able to get each other through it with time and lots of support.
Love for a partner can feel like a rollercoaster at times. Your dad is not perfect but neither am I. We’ve both made mistakes and sometimes those mistakes felt like they couldn’t be forgiven. We almost split up and walked away from it all. But our love allowed us to work through those hard times. We talk a lot. Your dad listens a lot. I listen…occasionally. I express myself often. He expresses himself when I finally bug him enough to let it out. He makes me laugh and I try to keep up with his quick remarks. I think I make him laugh too and if I don’t, I still try my hardest. I swear he can read my mind and I can read his; maybe we’ve just become in sync. Your dad and I have caused each other to cry, be it from laughter or from pain, but we’ve always wiped those tears away for each other and have grown to not make the same mistakes twice…maybe three times here and there.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that our love may not seem so great to other people. When you love someone, you’ll stop caring what everyone says. You might stop caring when your dad and I tell you that he (or she) isn’t the one for you when you bring them over for dinner. You may share the beautiful aspects of your life together and you may not until you are older. You may talk about your hardships but you don’t have to. The love you share with your partner should be special so it’s important that you can communicate when the going gets tough.
It is important that the love of your life can be more than that. They can be your best friend, your caregiver, and your confidant. Your dad has always been those things for me and I see that he is that for you, too. Which brings me to the last lesson of love I have for you.
One day you may have children. I will support you with whatever direction you want to go in when it comes to your family. You may want to foster or adopt like your dad and I hope to someday. You may also have a child of your own like us too. There may be another path you choose to go down that is unknown and that is okay too. But just remember that the love you will feel in a maternal aspect is unconditional. That love is untouchable because you are the source of nourishment in that relationship. You are selfless because you will do anything for your child. You will want and will try to give them the world but honey, they will give that to you just by existing. There will be hard times too, but they are all worth it.
I hope these lessons and words of experience will help you when you start to discover what love is. I hope that when you choose your friends you’ll remember what I’ve said. I hope that when you help a stranger it will be out of the good of your heart and that you’ll do it as often as you can. I hope that when you see your dad and I, you can see the love we have for each other, but most importantly the love we share for you. Little one you will find love, I know this for a fact. You’ve already found it here at home, you just don’t know it yet.