Before we go any further, let’s be friends, is a word we use every day, most the time we use it in the wrong way, now you can look the word up, again and again, but the dictionary doesn’t know the meaning of friends”, Whoodini. These lyrics spoke realism when it comes to your friends right? As I evolved and matured from my teens to now my thirties so many so-called friends have dropped in and out of my life, but mostly out then you can think of. As a child our main focus was our friends, what would we be without them and the thought of no longer having them was tragic right? Just ask my 9-year-old. But as adults, it’s exactly the opposite if you are in my life cool if not then that’s ok too. Don’t get me wrong as a strong woman I need my designated tribe of strong queens to rely on, vent and let my hair down with.
Through the years the meaning of the word friends has gotten so watered down in my personal life. I evolved from just having “friends” to wanting a tribe of a strong woman, a sisterhood. A tribe of queens brings out the best in you and believes in you. It’s a commitment and an investment. There is no competition here. Communication extends further than social media and texting. The most important component is consistency and being present not only when it’s convenient.
We all have that one so-called friend that goes in and out of our lives, which is excusable once or maybe twice. I call these seasonal friends, which quite honestly after dealing with these types, I’m absolutely over it. We can’t keep on playing catch up, at least I rather not, because then I feel that our trust needs to build again. If you were going through it and you weren’t able to come to me for support then where did our friendship really stand?
In the present day, we women need to learn how to hold one another down, let’s stop the competition and pettiness, oh so and so saw my sig pic and didn’t hit like, eye rolls. There is so much of that, that it’s ridiculous. Social media has made relationships so superficial, where we are not going out in the real world making these physical connections which is essential for stronger bonds. Now don’t get me wrong if we are long distance then it’s a great way to keep in touch and current.
As long that at the end of the day you are making an effort to make it to special occasions like birthdays, baby showers, weddings etc. We are working mothers, wives, career women but being present is what matters. That’s how the bond started on a physical level. I’m in my 30’s y’all so in my day we were creating bonds beyond these computer and phone screens lol.
Choose your tribe of queens wisely, quantity over quality. You will have bonds that will expire. That’s ok because that relationship served its purpose and you evolved. I truly understand that it’s hard to move on and let go of those individuals that played an important role in your life especially when they come from your youth, but once that relationship is done you will know, and you will need to let go. The universe will make you revisit that relationship over and over again. To the point where it becomes so toxic to your soul that you will have no choice but to let that sh*t go. I leave you with this quote queens,