There are two types of people in this world: those who will ask you if your hair is real and those who will not.
The ones who will not are the ones you may need to surround yourself with because it is also a differentiator in maturity.
It’s an offensive, yet double-sided compliment to ask a girl if her hair is real. Offensive because, well…it’s pretty obvious, right? And a double-sided compliment because you’re saying it looks so real, there’s no way it’s growing out of their head.
I’ve gotten this question a million and one times, from the tender age of ten, all the way into my adult years. I never really knew how I felt about this question until I heard my own response. A lot of times, I was open to answering truthfully with a genuine smile and on rare occasion, I’d reply with the instant aggravation that would leave a lasting, negative impression on someone. It felt like a lose-lose scenario, either way. It really made me appreciate the people who would simply say, “I like your hair!” without asking for details. It demonstrated class and that differentiator factor I spoke about earlier: maturity.
I began to struggle with how to answer this naïve inquiry without coming off as the “sassy, Black girl” or offending anyone in return. Because, at the end of the day, most people don’t mean harm, they just don’t think. But even if that is true, sometimes, you still want people to feel the way you do. So, this may happen:
1. Responding With An Offensive Question
Person: Oh my gosh! I love your hair. Is it real?
You: Oh my gosh! You’re glowing. Are you pregnant?
If you reply with ill-intent, you may really hurt someone’s feelings in a way you aren’t aware of. That instantly minimizes the fault in the hair question and puts you in the wrong. Try to avoid doing this.
Instead, ask with another question, without letting on that you’re offended.
Person: Oh my gosh! I love your hair. Is it real?
You: Thanks. Why do you ask?
The greatest revenge is to watch them struggle to answer.
2. Responding Defensively
Person: Is that your real hair?
You: Why do you care?
Showing you’re offended can be done in many ways beside this one. You don’t want to come off as childish, nor do you want to defer anyone from asking you anything ever again.
Instead, you can get straight to the point and be honest with your feelings, respectfully.
Person: Is that your real hair?
You: That’s actually a really personal question. I’d prefer you didn’t ask.
Nine out of ten people will respect that. Not only will they never ask you that again, but probably no one else, either. Then, you’ve spared their next potential victim!
3. Not Answering At All
Person: I like the hair. Is it all you?
You: *walks away*
See number two.
Instead, you can just tell the truth.
Person: I like the hair. Is it all you?
You: A little bit of me and a little bit of something else.
Now…you can walk away. Just remember to do it with a smile!
The Queen Sessions 